I don’t know why I’m super nervous to post the photo below. In fact, I’m shaking!
You might see this photo and think “she is crazy to be self conscious!” However, we are all our own worst critics, so as much as I am judging myself for wearing a bikini, I decided that I should not hide from my imperfections.
Instead I’m going to tell you my story about my stomach and why I haven’t worn a traditional bikini since June 2016.
In June 2016 I opted for a full abdominoplasty, AKA a tummy tuck. I had horrible Diastasis Recti (where the stomach muscles separate during pregnancy and don’t go back together). I looked like I was still 4 months pregnant more than a year postpartum, even though I wasn’t. No matter how fit I got or how much weight I lost, my stomach would not flatten.
To boost my self esteem, I gladly opted to trade a hip to hip scar for a 4 month pregnant looking belly. But before you start judging my decision, keep reading.
After my surgery, my incision was gnarly, and my belly was all kinds of creased and weird looking. I was optimistic per usual, and kept reminding myself that the healing process would be long. My scar eventually healed but it was so high, so uneven and semi circle shaped that I refused to show anyone and definitely did not want to wear a 2 piece bathing suit.
After 2 unsuccessful in-office revisions of my scar, my stomach was absolutely a mess. One of my friends even suggested that I apply to be on the TV series “Botched.”
However, I’m the most optimistic and hopeful person you will ever meet – plus I was in denial that my decision to have a tummy tuck was the wrong decision. I knew it was just part of my journey and I would get through it.
Finally, my surgeon suggested a complete revision of my tummy tuck including “going under” with full anesthesia. I jumped on the opportunity that this would finally be it. My stomach would finally be everything I wanted it to be!
5 months later I’m still healing and I'm far from perfect. But one thing that I am is determined. Here I am showing you the real me, showing you that my body is not perfect and never will be.
I can’t say that opting for this surgery was the right decision but I can warn others that surgery is not always the answer.
And it definitely will not make you anymore perfect than you already are.